Friday, August 5, 2011

home study, part 2

Let me first apologize for the 'cut and dry' nature of the last post. I just re-read it and thought Gosh, that is boring writing. In my defense, if you'll allow it, I feel like I've fallen into the rhythm so heavily that our current status seems stagnant and pale to our initial updates. But, I shall break through that mental barrier to provide you with a good readin'. :)

From the beginning...
Months ago when Kevin and I received our first set of referrals, there were two little girls listed. We quickly decided to pick one and see what would happen. What happened was another family was chosen to parent that adorable little girl. Difficult to hear, but God was still in control. He still is, too, in case you were confused for a brief momento.

The very same day that we got the 'no' phone call from Holt, Kevin said to me, "So what about Little Red Riding Hood?" Maybe I should explain that Baby #2 was wearing red in her referral picture. I naturally was gun-shy that day. What if we were told no to all babies? Is adoption really what we've been called to do? What if we wait 3 years before finding a baby? These are the questions that crammed my brain. I was in no condition to consider another baby that day. Or the day after. Or the day after that. If I'm honest, had it not been for Kevin, I don't think I would have ever picked another baby. I really had convinced myself that it was just too hard and not meant to be. Plus, Little Red had more significant medical needs that the first baby didn't, and I wasn't sure we were ready for that.

Even in the midst of all my doubt, I knew that it couldn't hurt to send her files to the IAC (International Adoption Clinic) to get an assessment. So we did. What we learned was that her needs are very manageable, maybe even nonexistent, except for the potential FAS. That one piece of news kept my guard up, but thankfully not Kevin's. He was so excited to know more about this baby that I couldn't help jumping on board with him. After all, learning about her didn't commit us to anything.

Last Saturday, almost a week ago, we finally got to the point of realizing that we can't say God is sovereign and then only live it out when it's convenient. This was a time that we simply had to trust. So, Saturday night we sent our "yes" to Holt about Baby #2.

Holt sent us another questionnaire to fill out, which we did last night. Today we get an email saying that a phone interview is probably not necessary since we had one last time. All we had to do is answer 3-4 more questions, mainly about FAS, via email and send them back. Kevin answered those today and we emailed them in to Holt.

At this point, we are waiting for the committee to meet to decide which family is chosen for her. There is only one other family besides us. We trust that God will place this precious little one (and WOW is she tiny) with the right family. I'm still scared. FAS is a huge unknown to me, and the spectrum of potential effects is overwhelming. I'm having to heavily trust that God will not place anything on us that He won't equip us to handle well.

I know all that may sound all doom-and-gloom, but I just want to be transparent in this process. We are excited about the potential match and being her parents!

In the meantime, Kevin had his homestudy interviews with Social Worker Kelly (sounds like a Barbie, right?). She came over last night and spent 4 hours with us talking about Kevin's life experiences, family, job, expectations, and other stuff. We both were interviewed about our marriage, discipline methods, childcare, time off from work, expectations, and general education on adoption. It's so hard to update on the homestudy interviews. I know it sounds like I'm hiding something, but it really is just a bunch of questions about us. I don't know how to update that, sorry.

So, what's next?

Social Worker Kelly sent us the homestudy draft today (WOW, fast!).
Side note: the homestudy, though it sounds very house and couple oriented, is actually a paper document that is sent to the placing agency and country of adoption.
Kevin and I will look over the homestudy and check for mistakes. Then it will be sent to Villa Hope so they can check for mistakes. Then it will be sent to Holt. If it passes Holt's requirements, it will then be sent to Korea. Yay! I don't know what Korea does with it. I'll have to do more research there.
So, we are technically done with Villa Hope and the homestudy. That was a big hurdle to cross and now we are focused on finding the right referral and making it past committee. We haven't heard when committee will meet for this baby. I know they meet every Thursday, so I'm hoping we can get in next week.

And now you're up to speed.

What to pray for?
- patience as we wait for committee to meet
- resilience as we prepare for the committee's decision
- wisdom as we continue studying FAS
- finances--the 5K is slow getting planned and we need to get that going like last week
- perseverance as we keep walking down this loooong path of adoption with all the emotions that go with it

As always, please let us know how to pray for you too!

Sending Hugs


  1. Me and Tay just read this....glad we know how to pray now! Can't wait to meet this sweet Angel, whoever she may be, The Lord knows. We love you Mal & Kevin!

  2. Praying and excited! We can't wait to hear more... and I'm SO EXCITED we'll be in Birmingham whenever you do bring your little girl home! ;)

  3. Hi! We are fellow potential adoptive parents. I have been following your blog and I see mine is posted on the side of your blog so I hope you have been able to follow ours as well. I just wanted to let you know that we are pursuing "little red riding hood". :) You can read more about how it came about on our blog. Would sure appreciate your prayers! We will be praying that God brings you your child very soon. God bless!